The reasons couples choose to divorce differs for many reason. Two couples never share for the exact same reason. Some can’t figure out how to communicate anymore, others hate each other so much they can’t even sit in the living room together for the duration of a TV show. However, it is difficult to know when to abandon the mission. Finally, you made a commitment that is said you would keep each other out, for better or worse—but the worst thing you can do is sacrifice your own health, happiness, and clarity. Here are some signs it might be time to walk away.
Problems Are Too Big To Solve
Once you and your spouse have realized that your problems are too big to solve on your own and you have agreed to work things out in therapy, it’s safe to assume that at one point you both wanted to save your marriage. But if you’ve started therapy and your spouse has been dismissed from meetings or is uninterested when he or she is present, it’s over. When a spouse separates, marriage becomes an uphill battle. One spouse cannot hold the marriage together. It is a couple commitment. So once you’re checked out, it’s almost impossible to get back to the same page.
If One Side Does Not Plan To Have A Kid
If you and your spouse always wanted to start a family and then suddenly buy a bigger house or dreamily debated names, it’s no longer because one doesn’t want that anymore — this is bad news. When you’ve been planning kids your whole life and suddenly your spouse doesn’t want it anymore, they tell you they want a divorce. After all, having a child means that you and your spouse are connected forever. If your spouse knows they want a future without you, choosing not to have children could seal that deal.
If your spouse’s behavior puts your own monetary resources and credit at danger and he refuses to acknowledge the issue, mitigate your concerns, or just plain lies to you, it’s over. If your marriage is tax faulty, you need to protect yourself. If your spouse has used joint funds to buy things you didn’t agree to or to pay for a second life you don’t know about, you are at risk. And this second life doesn’t just mean supporting a loved one — it could also indicate substance abuse, excessive shopping, gambling and so on. It is very difficult to rebuild trust after this kind of abuse in the relationship, even with therapy. Your finances influence your future quality of life. If someone is infringing on your ability to pay or save for your future, your only thing is to file for divorce.
Ask yourself this: Are you inexplicably under the weather all the time? You know, you’re feeling unwell or dealing with unexplained body aches. And how does the thought of seeing your husband and spending time with him come about? Does it make you so uncomfortable that it makes you angry? Stress is a fun thing, and if you ignore it long enough, it will find ways to draw your attention. Trust your gut is another good rule of thumb. If your stomach is constantly upset when you’re with your spouse, you need to pay attention.
When all you can think about is setting your partner on fire when you see their face, either in person or in your mind’s eye, that’s not good. When contempt comes out in the way of sarcasm, name calling and eye-rolling, to name a few, it’s difficult to fix because contempt is the result of behavioral or communication issues that should have been taken into consideration and worked on eons before you got to this one.
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